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Desire

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Addiction
Desire

Wanting More of John Lennon & The Beatles

All of a sudden, I wanted to know about The Beatles and John Lennon.  I downloaded all the songs I could find, and even interviews by John Lennon.  I never listened to the interviews, due to their lengths, but kept them to listen in the future.  The songs that I downloaded, meant something to me now.  I could no longer rate them, they were beyond that.  They were too good to deserve a rating.  Perhaps because I understood them, instead of listening to the lyrics, the melody or the harmony, I understood the music and the feelings of the singers.  Songs that I didn't like earlier, were my favorites now.  

The Beatles would now make me think about things I had never thought about.  They gave me a new way to look at everything.  Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds would annoy me earlier, but now would be stuck in my head for weeks.  Instead of making fun of their songs, I would defend them.   I would go online and search for more information about the Beatles.   I would go into bookstores and pick up the Anthology and start reading it.  I would wander off in the Anthology, not know as the time passed.   Whenever the topic of the music came up, The Beatles would come out of my mouth.  My other friends (who preferred Metallica, N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, etc.) would wonder what is up with me and The Beatles.  Not even my friend, who had introduced me to The Beatles, was as interested in them, as I was.  I was like a child, who received a new toy and wanted to find every thing he could do with it.  Out of the blue, they had become a major part of me; a major part of a girl who hadn't known that John Lennon was dead.  

I wanted to know more about their history and their break up.  I wanted to understand why they broke up, and to this date, even after reading numerous amounts of articles, I don't understand it.  Maybe because, for some reason, I just couldn't accept that they broke up.  To me, they never broke up; I never witnessed it nor understood it, so its just not true to me.  I understood how they got together; how they made music, but the separation, to me, is still an illusion.  My friend said that they just couldn't stay together; they were practically yelling at each other in their last album-- so it was for the good.  I believed my friend, but still.  I didn't want them to break up, thus to me, it wasn't for the good.  I guess I was amongst the greedy ones Lennon had described in his inteview.  I had seen the miracle, and I wanted it to stay and last forever.  I guess, not all last forever.  I guess I wanted my problems to flow away with their music.  

I read about how the artists began to go solo, and make their own music.  That, for a queer reason, I was able to believe. I didn't think it was for the good, but I was able to believe.  However, I didn't care about McCartney, Harrison or Ringo.  I only continued with readings about John Lennon and his career.  I read about how he stayed home, and became a house-husband.  I believed this to be a good thing, after all, we all need a break.   He, for once, lived a personal life.  To me, John Lennon & The Beatles are two separate things; they are not a part of each other.  It's as if the John Lennon in The Beatles is different from the John Lennon who wrote Imagine.

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